Have you ever been afraid to pray aloud in front of anyone? After uncovering the root cause of this fear and making progress through the steps God used to rescue and restore me in my struggle with anxiety and fear, God gave me another opportunity to confront this fear.
My phone rang. It was my pastor, calling to ask me if I would pray onstage over the congregation for both Sunday services. It was the start of the new year, and our church was about to begin a corporate forty-day fast, and the members would commit to read through the entire Bible in one year. My pastor specifically asked me to “pray Heaven to Earth.” Good grief! No pressure.
I wanted to break it to him gently that I was not the right person for this job, but I managed to refrain from doing so. While I was both honored and humbled he had asked me, I wasn’t sure I fit the profile of the person he was looking for. I was not a bold, dynamic speaker, but rather soft spoken, insecure, and easily intimidated by large crowds.
To get up on stage and pray at the Sunday services in front of hundreds, maybe thousands, of people was certainly not in my comfort zone. Just thinking about doing so, I felt my palms get sweaty and my heart rate go up. My flesh screamed no!
Despite my insecurities and trepidation, however, deep down I knew that God had already been speaking to my heart about being bold and brave and stepping outside of my comfort zone—and this was an opportunity to trust Him. This was a test of my obedience to do what He was calling me to do: to help others regardless of whether I felt qualified, and in spite of whatever fears I was still learning to work through. He wanted me to let my light shine!
I couldn’t deny there was a big part of me that really wanted to go for it! From somewhere deep within, an emphatic resounding yes was desperately trying to make its way out of my mouth and into my pastor’s ear. The Holy Spirit urged me to go for it! I wanted to be faithful. I didn’t want to cower in fear and insecurity at the opportunity, and say like Moses, please send someone else (Exodus 4:13).
This prayer wasn’t about me, anyway! It was about encouraging my church family, praying God’s blessing over them for the coming year, and humbling myself in service to the body of Christ. God would be faithful to give me the words He wanted me to pray over them and to Him. So, after much deliberation during our brief five-minute phone conversation, I finally said yes, and committed myself. Even if it meant doing it afraid, I was not going to let this opportunity pass me by.
The truth is, God doesn’t always call the most eloquent orators to be a voice for Him. It’s often the most unlikely of people who shine His light. Take Moses, for example. The Bible says in Exodus 3 that Moses was out tending to his father-in-law’s flocks when the Lord called him.
On Mount Horeb (the mountain of God), “the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up” (Exodus 3:2). The Lord said to Moses, “‘I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt . . . I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them . . . So now, go. I am sending you” (Exodus 3:7, 8, 10).
God called on Moses to help deliver His people out of slavery. However, Moses was very much afraid and insecure. Bottom line? He felt unqualified for what God was calling him to do. Rather than humbly obey God, Moses was reluctant to comply. He questioned God’s plans, argued with Him, and essentially declared himself unfit for the job. He said, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh . . .” (Exodus 3:11) and “I have never been eloquent . . . I am slow of speech and tongue.” (Exodus 4:10).
At this point, Moses is unable to move past his insecurities and fears, and he is looking for a way out of his God-given assignment. He sees what God is asking him to do only in terms of his limitations rather than seeing what God can do in and through him! Knowing Moses’ weaknesses full well, God patiently waited for him to come around to obedience. He gently responded to Moses’ insecurities and fears with a variety of assurances, miraculous signs, and wonders. He said, “I will be with you” (Exodus 3:12) and “I will help you” (Exodus 4:12).
Rather than accept God’s reassurances, though, Moses questioned God, further revealing his insecurity, fears, and doubts. “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?’” (Exodus 3:13). Unfortunately, Moses still doesn’t get it. He isn’t ready to grasp the fullness of who God is.
God answered Moses, “‘I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you’” (Exodus 3:14). Mic drop.
I want you to catch the power and weight of this statement. I AM is the name God gives to Himself, as first revealed to Moses. This name is all-encompassing, describing God’s presence, sovereignty, sustainability, and power over all; our God who was, who is, and who is to come. By God calling himself I AM, He was essentially revealing to Moses the fullness of who He is. Whatever it was the Israelites lacked—or that Moses lacked—I AM would be for them. The leaders of the Israelites would have grasped the significance of this declaration and been in awe. In God referring to himself as I AM, I believe it’s as if God was saying to Moses: I know who I AM, but do you know who I AM? I know who you are, but do you know who I AM in you?
It’s worth noting that God’s name is transcribed as YHWH, or Yahweh, in the original Hebrew Old Testament. This is because the Jews believed God’s name was too sacred to be uttered out loud, and therefore had to find substitutions for it. Since there is not an exact translation in the English language for Yahweh, we usually find God’s name written as “Lord” in all capital letters in our English Bibles. These different forms of God’s name all refer back to I AM.
Like Moses, we have been called to lead people into the promised land of eternal salvation in Jesus Christ! We are people on mission, sent to declare the praises of Him who called us out of darkness into His wonderful light (see 1 Peter 2:9). We can fight, flail, get anxious, angry, and argue with God about what He’s calling us to do. We can doubt ourselves or see ourselves as unqualified for the opportunities God gives us to help others. Or, we can take our eyes off ourselves and see God—looking to all that I AM is, rather than fearing all that I am not:
I AM your Deliverer (Psalms 140:7).
I AM your Strength (Psalms 28:7).
I AM your Righteousness (Isaiah 61:10).
I AM your Light (Psalms 27:1).
I AM your Shepherd (John 10:11).
I AM your Provider (Genesis 22:14).
I AM your Defender (Proverbs 23:11).
I AM the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6).
I AM everything that you need (2 Corinthians 9:8)!
With Christ in you, and you in Him, you will shine bright in this world! Not because of who you are, but because of who He is in you. Christ within you is like the fire inside the burning bush—His presence turns you into a soul burning with a passion to see God’s kingdom come and His will done on earth as it is in heaven (see Matthew 6:10). Just as the fire within the bush did not burn out, so the fire of the Holy Spirit within you will never be extinguished. So never be afraid to let your light shine. No matter what God has called you to, He will be with you.
