Silent battles– we all have them!  Silent battles are things we struggle with on an ongoing basis, that most of the people in our lives know little to nothing about.  Maybe, for some it’s an addiction, a craving for something they struggle to say “no” to, time after time, day after day.  The mind says “no,” but the flesh cries out, “yes.”  It’s not easy!  For some it may be about self-image.  They battle lies of self-deprecation and self-hate every time they look at themselves in the mirror.  These lies threaten to steal their true identity, their confidence and self-worth, and their joy.  Still others struggle with being enough.  They strive to meet other people’s expectations, because deep down, they believe they have to earn their love and approval.  They live in constant worry and fear that one day someone they love will say, “I’m sorry, you just aren’t enough for me.  I don’t love you anymore.”  I don’t know what your silent battle is, but today, I want you to know you are not alone in it, and you don’t have to suffer in silence.

Today, as I share my first blog post, I am choosing to be silent no more– to share with you the ongoing battles I have to fight everyday in hopes of encouraging you in yours.  So, what do I have to battle against almost every day?  Fear.  Anxiety.  Depression.  Chronic pain.  I have days I feel like I’m winning the war!  I’m pushing back the enemy’s line, trampling his lies underfoot, and overcoming my fears, one by one.  I sense physical pain is in remission, and I feel strong.  I feel at peace with who I am, and anxiety and depression are far from me.  But if I’m being honest, I also have days when the enemy pushes back, my physical condition and circumstances feel overwhelming, and fear feels bigger than my faith.  There are days I can hardly get out of bed, or off the couch, because of physical pain, and/or depression and anxiety.  I lack the strength to do anything productive, and have to turn down invitations to spend time with my family and friends.  I’m irritable, introverted, and usually down on myself.  I wish I could do and be more, for myself and others, but I just don’t seem to have it in me.  Today was one of those days, and I had a choice to make: Am I going to allow the enemy to push me around, or am I going to allow God to make something beautiful out of my mess.  I think I made the right choice!  I concluded, “If I am having a hard day today, someone else out there might be too, and maybe, just maybe. . . what I have to say, could make a difference.”  If what I say can encourage, support, or strengthen another, then the pain I experienced today was not in vain, the kingdom of heaven is advanced, and God is glorified!

In silence, we are alone.  Silence suppresses and oppresses.  Silence isolates and intimidates.  Silence gives Satan the upper hand.  It’s an opportunity for him to corner us into white flag surrender, in hopes we’ll decide to settle for an unfilled, hopeless, and joyless way of life.  God wants so much more for us than this!  In community, we discover we are not alone, we find common ground, and we find strength to continue fighting the good fight.  The love we give and receive in community helps to build a stronger defense against the enemy’s schemes.  I’m reminded of a Bible verse that speaks to the power of community so clearly.  “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12).  

One may be overpowered, but two can defend themselves.  The second strand in the cord describes the other people whose lives we invite to intertwine with ours.  These relationships make us stronger.  Breaking the silence in your struggle, in the context of a healthy relationship, is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength and courage.  But, living in community is risky!  It means opening yourself up to possible rejection, and heartbreak.  Just as we sometimes can hurt others, other people can hurt us.  Some may choose to believe, it just isn’t worth the risk!  I used to think this way.  Unfortunately, past experience taught me that being vulnerable in sharing my emotions, was as dangerous as playing with fire.  The pain of rejection and abandonment was far too great!  So, rather than allow this ongoing trauma to continue to wreak havoc, I built fortified walls of protection around my heart.  What I didn’t realize in constructing these walls was, I had not only created a barrier to rejection, I had created a barrier to love.  I was living in fear rather than living loved.  Fear consumed and controlled the deepest parts of me.

God’s Word speaks to those who are living in fear.  It says in 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”  I had stopped being able to give and receive love because of fear.  I kept people at arm’s length, while at the same time, desperate for their love and affection.  I kept God at arm’s length, not believing he could possibly love someone as broken as me.  It took me a long time to realize that God’s perfect love for me will never fail.  I struggled trusting that God wouldn’t one day reject and abandon me for not measuring up.  I thought I had to earn His love, and that if I failed, he would leave me.  I’ve since learned that nothing can separate me from the love of God.  God will never leave me or forsake me.  His love does not change like shifting shadows, and it is not dependent upon my performance.  There is nothing I have to do to earn His love.  He offers it freely.  I just have to be open to receiving it.  Yes, God loves me.  He loves you too!  He loves us so much he sent his only son to die on a cross, to pay the penalty for our sin, so that he could spend all of eternity with us.  We can trust God’s love for us.  As I learned to accept this more and more, his perfect love began driving the fear right out of my life.  My love for the Lord continued to grow, and my relationship with him deepened.  He became my shelter from the storms of life, the rock beneath my feet, and the wind beneath my wings.

If being made perfect in love, as described in 1 John 4:18, drives out fear, it stands to reason then that, when we are made perfect in love, we will no longer fear the rejection of other people.  We will be free to love others with the love we have so freely been given knowing, that nothing and no one, can change this one thing about us:  We Are Loved!  When you know you are loved, you will want others to know this same kind of love, and you will not hesitate to show it.  This is what I call living perfectly loved!

We talked about the first and second strands in the cord of three strands, but we didn’t yet discuss the third strand.  The third strand is the most important.  It is not another person, but God.  Two can still be overpowered, but when we bring God into our silent battles, we are guaranteed the victory, through Christ Jesus, our Savior.  Therefore, even in our weakness, we are strong.  Though we stumble, we will not fall.  We are overcomers!  We shine with the light of Jesus!  We are completely forgiven, fully accepted, and deeply loved children of the King, and no weapon formed against us will prosper!

2 Corinthians 4:1-18 below pretty well sums it all up:

Present Weakness and Resurrection Life

“Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.  Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God.  On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.  And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing.  The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.  For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.  For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.  But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.  For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.  So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.  It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”  Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself.  All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.  Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”